It Cannot Be Food

I have a confession to make. A rather horrifying one, but nonetheless, in some way I hope you find it amusing and that it helps you avoid the same mistake.

A few weeks ago, my 9 year old was begging for a Happy Meal in hopes of getting a toy she really wanted. It was almost 2:30 and we hadn’t eaten any lunch yet and I caved. We pulled into the McDonald’s here in our small town and went on in.


I was looking at the menu and they had a picture of a mushroom burger that looked rather appetizing to me at the moment. However, I didn’t want to spend that much on something that would be disappointing, so I went with the dollar menu and ordered a “cheeseburger”. I think it may have been the double one, but whatever it was, it wasn’t food.

We got our order and sat down and prayed. We do that over all food, but this wasn’t food. It was more like praying to not get sick from eating the JC Penney catalog.

I opened up the burger and thought to myself, “Crud, I forgot to tell them no yellow mustard”. With a sigh, I took a bite. Unbelievable!

The “burger” tasted like shredded cardboard that had been mixed with half a beef bouillon cube and formed into a pancake of sorts before being put into the microwave. The cheese tasted like yellow half melted plastic and the bread for the bun was the grand finale of the experience. That wrapped up the entire taste extravaganza as a pile of wet paper towel slathered with a lot of ketchup and mustard to try to cover up the recycled paper product affect of the entire package.

I looked at my daughter and said, “Honey, this isn’t food.” She looked up from her Happy Meal and said, “Well, I like the fries, but other than that, not so much.”

We wrapped the recycled paper products up in the paper they came in and threw them into the trash as we left. And my daughter didn’t even get the toy she was hoping for. It might beat a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but not by much.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. windyfieldfarms
    Dec 04, 2013 @ 11:36:32

    Thanks for the confession, lol! My husband, when out on the road, would sometimes “give in” to a craving for a fast “food” meal….and was always reminded by his stomach of why he doesn’t eat it any more 😉


  2. bman
    Dec 05, 2013 @ 18:55:01

    The 1/4lb.r with cheese at the McDonalds in Woodward,Oklahoma is outstanding.
    You paid a buck, what did you expect with beef prices at a twenty year high.
    I think it is amazing they can put out any kind of profit product for that, even a paper product.
    What you need to be concerned about is the relaxing of the importation of meat products. Chicken from China is on the way, and my ground beef package already says ” product of USA & Mexico. That’s reassuring, didn’t dogs die from a product made in China, and I bet the Mexican government really monitors their beef production.


    • truthfarmer
      Dec 10, 2013 @ 07:39:07

      Indeed I am concerned with importation of meat. The fact that the WTO regs are set up to destroy countries that are more developed and still gives so much leeway to China is eternally aggravating. I was astonished because I seriously have never tasted anything so horrific in my life and people eat this stuff everyday. Just amazing.
      Even the writing of the COOL regs is designed to prevent US growers from getting anything approaching a decent price. When a single rib eye can be from Mexico Canada and the US you either have glued together beef, a very well traveled calf, or spurious regs.
      As far as McDonald’s, I will never eat there again, but I may get coffee from time to time.


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